


Home Is Where The Heartache Is

by beauregret



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: AU where Melendez survives, Angst, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23435506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beauregret/pseuds/beauregret
Summary: He joked that one day he'd die in St. Bonaventure, and the universe had laughed.And irony had now found him in a hospital bed, a little too aware that his life was in the hands of his ex.
Relationships: Audrey Lim/Neil Melendez
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48





	1. 24 Seconds

There was irony, and then there was his current predicament.

Neil had always joked that St. Bonaventure was never going to get rid of him  _ (despite what probably sometimes appeared to be his best efforts to prove otherwise). _ The running thing for a long time was that he and Audrey would always be there, and that one day he'd probably die there too.

He hadn't  _ actually _ meant that last part - after all, they have psychiatrists to help those who make morbid jokes in full seriousness, don't they? 

But Neil had made that joke, and clearly the universe had laughed. 

And irony had now found him in a hospital bed at St. Bonaventure; waiting for treatment at the hands of the people he usually worked with and feeling a pain in his abdomen that felt a touch too sharp to be on the right side of concerning. It doesn't worsen too much with time, but the time he spends waiting gives his mind too many places to wander to.

Yet when the curtain opens and Audrey Lim walks over to stand by his side, he can't help but put on a brave face, giving her a weak smile and hoping it's enough to hide the fact that he's scared. 

_ (Who is he trying to kid - there's no way she's going to buy into the facade.) _

"Fancy meeting you here." It's an awful attempt at a wisecrack and he can admit to that. Yet when Audrey doesn't even so much as smirk, he knows he's in a lot of trouble.

"...What's the damage?"

"Internal bleeding, abdominal damage, and...potentially a mild form of sepsis." Her voice is shaky, saved only by her professionalism and her determination to push on and do what she can to save him. But he understands the weight that rests on her shoulders right now  _ (and what he wouldn't give to make this easier for her) _ .

In all honesty, he wasn't faring much better.

"Neil." Audrey's voice brings his focus back to her, and the worried expression on her face just about manages to break his heart. "...You might die on the operating table."

"And I  _ will _ die if we don't go ahead with this." The curse of working as a surgeon was that right now, he couldn't ignore the fact that his chances of survival weren't high, and he couldn't even feign ignorance. He was scared. They both were.

But he'll take any chance over no chance. So he reaches out to take Audrey's hand and she obliges, continuing to look between him and the medical notes in her other hand.

"Audrey." It's his turn to bring her focus back to him. "It's a risk I'm willing to take. Let's go ahead with the surgery."

Not that he expected her to object to the surgery to start with  _ (in fact, he expects she would've tried to talk him into it if he had refused), _ but he hears her sigh when he voices his decision, before putting the notes to one side for the time being and giving him her full attention. 

"Neil...if this doesn't work-"

"-It  _ will _ work." He attempts to reassure her, knowing she's all too aware that the course of the rest of his life depended on this operation and therefore rested in her hands.  _ (But deep down, he feels he needs to convince himself of his chances of survival more than he needs to convince her) _

"We can't  _ guarantee _ that. You know that. And I need to tell you something in case the surgery isn't successful." 

This time, he doesn't counter her. But he  _ does _ attempt to steel himself for what he feared would be a painful conversation.

" _ If _ this doesn't work out the way that we hope it will…" Audrey looks away for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying not to let her voice waver when she meets his gaze next. "I just want you to know...that I wish we'd never broken up. I should've fought harder for us."

"Me too." He whispers back, giving her hand a squeeze and feeling his own resolve start to crack. On one hand, it was nice in a way to know that her second thoughts had been there all this time after all, especially when he felt the same way himself. On the other hand, he hated that it had taken a situation like this to get either of them to face up to how they had been feeling.

_ He's not ready to die _ . There was too much he had left to leave behind, and too many things he had left to look forward to in his life...and he's willing to admit that Audrey was right up there next to Gabby as the main reason he didn't want to succumb to his injuries.

So Neil decides to take a shot at giving them both some hope to cling onto.

"So... _ when _ we get through this -  _ when _ , not if." He starts, adding the emphasis on his choice of wording before she has the chance to object. "We could have a second go at being in a relationship, if you're up for that?"

She wants to remind herself to remain realistic - Neil can see the conflict in her eyes and he's known her long enough to know what that means - but she caves quicker than he'd expected.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good." This time, his smile is genuine, and not an attempt to hide how he's really feeling. "There's still a lot of bottles of whisky out there with our names on them. You might even start liking it neat soon."

And they both laugh. It's shaky, and a bad attempt on both their parts to pretend that his life wasn't in her hands, but it's a laugh all the same. But their time is cut short when a nurse peeks through the curtain to let them both know that the operating room was ready.

Audrey stands up and leans forward to pull him into a gentle hug, being careful to avoid further aggravating any of his injuries.

"I'll see you on the other side of this. Don't you dare die on me in there, Melendez."

"I won't, I promise."

And then she switches to her professional tone, and he lets her take control.

* * *

_ Technically _ speaking, Melendez had broken that promise to her for exactly 24 seconds.

For Audrey, it had been both the shortest  _ and _ the longest 24 seconds of her life.

Just as she thought that maybe they were finally in the clear, he had sent her optimism crashing back down by going into cardiac arrest, and from there it had been all hands on deck as Audrey and her team worked to pull him back from the brink. Everything from that point had been a blur for her as her body moved on sheer muscle memory, her mind refusing to allow any lapse in judgement or room for panic in a form of dissociation which she realises in hindsight may have been unhealthy, but necessary all the same.

After all, at the most basic level, Neil had just been another patient - and she had just been a surgeon carrying out another operation.

Even after his heart started beating again, she was still in a professional mindset - even when they finally were in the clear (for real this time); even when they were taking him back to his room to rest and recover and hopefully wake up soon.

Only when they were finally on their own once more did all of her emotions come rushing back. And they hit her hard, because Audrey finds herself sitting by his bedside with his hand in hers and tears falling freely as she recalls just how close they'd come to losing him. They had been so close to watching him die on the operating table and it would've been  _ her fault-- _

_ But he's not dead. _ She repeats that sentence to herself, over and over, until it sinks in and her mind gets the message. It could've been her fault if he had died,  _ but he's not dead _ , and she just saved his life.

It was hard to remind herself of that whilst he was still unconscious, and she knew it would be a while before he woke up again. Yet Audrey was determined to stay by his side as much as she possibly could, in the hope that she would be the one who gets to see him first when he comes back around.

Officially, she was still on duty - and she had genuinely tried to focus on her work at first, continuing to check on other patients and advise the nurses when necessary. But in between every check-up and every conversation, she found herself back at Neil's room. And every time she was there, she checked over all of his vitals, just to be safe  _ (and to reassure her every time she started to worry). _

For the next few hours, that was her routine. That was, until the early hours of the morning started to roll around and she was running on determination and one hell of a caffeine kick, and Andrews offers to take over ward duties from her.

"Go and be with him. You've done enough." He'd told her, and even though she now outranked him, she was ready to call it a day where work was concerned. So she doesn't object, and she heads straight for Neil's room.

The first thing she checks, as she had done many times already, are his vitals, and once she's satisfied that he's still going to be okay, she settles down back by his side, ready for what she thought would be a long wait.

Waiting, she realises, means she has a lot of time to think about the last time they'd been in this situation - when it was her in the hospital bed and he'd been the one not wanting to leave her side. 

She supposes it's ironic that her brush with death had first brought them together, and now his brush with death had rekindled that relationship.  _ (No wonder they enjoyed bonding over bottles of whisky, with the way they were gaining a habit of averting near-tragedies). _

They'd had a bumpy ride getting to this point. But this time - she promises to herself in a quiet vow of her own - she's going to fight harder for them. She's going to make this relationship work; and they're going to spend a lot of time together. They're going to be okay, and she might even let him win a bet or two from time to time--

_ (No she won't - that's a stretch too far even for her). _ She laughs at that thought, knowing Neil would've immediately taken the opportunity to further exercise his ego if he had been awake to hear that.

But on a serious note, they'd come too far to let this second chance go to waste.

"This time, we're going to do this right." She promises out loud, for all the good it was worth.

At that point, after what felt like an eternity but had only really been a few minutes, she notices the first signs of movement in his hands.

And as the first rays of the morning light start to shine in through the windows, Neil Melendez opens his eyes.


	2. A Promise Kept

She exhales deeply, releasing a breath she didn't even realise she'd been holding until that moment. 

Knowing that he was alive was one thing. To see him open his eyes for the first time post-operation had been a whole other matter entirely though. Audrey had always enjoyed the feeling of seeing a patient awake after a successful operation - it was tangible proof that the work she did was saving lives and changing the course of so many people's livelihoods for the better.

But this was different. She wasn't watching any regular patient wake up - she was watching  _ Neil _ wake up, against what had initially appeared to be every possible odds.

She doesn't say anything though. Instead, she watches the way his eyes slowly adjust to the growing levels of light, and feels her own heartbeat match the sound of his on the monitor. For a moment, it dawns on her that it had only been a few hours ago when there was, for 24 long seconds, no heartbeat to be heard; the recollection of that was a stark reminder that every breath he took now was an extension of his life - an extension that she had helped to create.

And yet she felt uneasy in spite of knowing the part that she had played. It wasn't humility behind the feeling in her stomach either - it was simply her still coming down from everything that had happened.

_ They'd come too close _ , the thought repeats in her mind once more. It wasn't her fault, nor the fault of Neil, or anyone in the surgery team that she'd assembled to save his life (and she had made a point of only bringing the best of her team into that operating room - only the best would do when it came to helping one of their own). Circumstances and luck alone were to blame for the fact that he'd flatlined momentarily. 

Even so, the night had left her exhausted - Audrey swears she's aged about 10 years in the last 10 hours. She was looking forward to getting a good few hours of quality sleep once she got home, now that the worst of this ordeal was over.

She knows she's gotten a little too lost in her train of thought when Neil's hand brushes lightly over hers, and she looks back up to find herself meeting his gaze.

"Good morning." He whispers, his voice hoarse from the use of oxygen tubes.

"Good morning." She whispers back, her voice still shaky as she fights to keep her emotions in check. At least she wasn't lying - it is a good morning  _ (and it's an even better morning now that he's here to see it.) _ "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been cut open." He deadpans, and she rolls her eyes because god damn it did he  _ have _ to be a smartass as soon as he woke up? 

He is, both to her relief and her worry,  _ not _ a smartass when he follows that comment up with his first question to her. 

"What's the damage?"

_ 'Other than the fact that he nearly died on the operating table?'  _ She wants to start by saying, but decides against it - she can tell him about that part later today, but for now, some good news was very much needed, if for no other reason than to boost his morale. Positive attitudes often lead to positive outcomes, after all  _ (she feels like Claire's influence was starting to rub off on her, and can only imagine the young resident saying 'I told you so' if she knew that Audrey was starting to agree with her on that point). _

"You're going to be okay. You'll need to be on antibiotics for a while, and it's going to be longer still before you make a full recovery, but...the worst of it is behind you now." She explains, smiling as she gets to the last part, and she watches the relief form in his own smile as he takes in what she had just said.

This felt right. This felt  _ nice _ . All of her prior doubts and worrying thoughts vanished at the sight of that smile, because she knew that she hadn't been lying about the worst being over. 

And it was clear, from his smile and the newfound energy in the way he reached for her hand, that he knew she was telling the truth too. So she does more than take his hand back in hers; she reaches forward to hug him, thankful for the feeling of warmth in his embrace - the simple fact that he felt  _ alive _ .

"You saved me." He says after they pull away.

"You made a promise before we went in there - you promised that you weren't going to die on me. I just helped you keep that promise." She responds with conviction, as if trying to drive in the point that his own promise was the reason he was still alive; and still, in large part, not letting herself take too much credit for his survival. 

"Audrey, I know I nearly broke that promise." He retorts, giving a weak laugh when she shoots him a confused look (and no doubt it was a horrified look too, because how did he already know that he nearly died when she was nowhere near ready to admit that to him?). She stumbles on her words in her head, trying to think of the right way to tell him about the cardiac arrest without upsetting him.

But she didn't need to say anything in the end, because Neil takes one look at her as she opens her mouth, ready to try and explain - and he responds by gesturing towards the heart monitors.

"I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon - I know post-resuscitation care when I see it."

"Okay, yes - you did nearly break your promise. But you didn't." ( _ Because she wasn't going to let him break it _ .)

He takes a minute to think on that, no doubt processing the close brush with his own mortality.

And she thinks about the time when she was the one in the hospital bed, recovering from her own near-death experience - and he was the one that refused to leave her side. That was less than two years ago, and now here they were again with the roles reversed.

They  _ really _ needed to stop getting together like this.

_ (Also, they definitely were going to need more than one bottle of whisky once Neil was able to drink again.) _

Something else about that time came to the forefront of her mind though - one thing he'd said to her that's stayed with her ever since. One thing that had motivated him to help wherever he could when it had come to her recovery. One thing that had motivated her when she'd worked through the night to save him, and would continue to motivate her to help him through the rest of his recovery.

He's looking at her again, trying to figure out what was on her mind, and that one thing leaves her mouth before she can stop herself.

"The idea of you not being around wasn't okay with me."

He remembers those words too. She can see it in the way his eyes widen, and the way he smiles at the recollection of that memory.

And just like when he said those words to her last time, she looks at him now and feels, for the first time since the earthquake, the sense of contentment.

They were going to be okay, when all this was said and done.

He stays in the hospital for a few days longer than expected - mostly on her orders, because no amount of feeling fine changed the fact that he still had to have post-resuscitation care on top of the treatment for his sepsis and the internal bleeding. But when he's finally discharged and allowed to continue his recovery from home, she stands by the hospital exit, waiting for him.

Just like how he'd been waiting for her when she got discharged.

Neil doesn't walk quite as fast as he normally does, and he's much more careful with his steps than he usually is, but Audrey's okay with that. He was taking his recovery seriously, and she would be there to help him through it, every step of the way.

"What are we doing, Audrey?" He asks when he sees her waiting, initiating a familiar back-and-forth between them for old times' sake.

"Can I say?" She knows she can, but she responds the same way she's always done - again, for old times' sake.

"I think you can." He responds - and she takes him by the hand to pull him in for a kiss, not caring about whether anyone else sees their embrace, or the two of them leaving together.

"We're going home." And to the start of their forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a little longer than expected, but as promised - here's part 2! 
> 
> I'm probably going to call it here for this story, two chapters feels like enough for this arc, and if I write anything else for these two then it will be posted as a separate piece of work entirely.
> 
> Just one friendly request from me in the meantime though - let's all remember to be kind to each other, yeah? This is a tough enough period without fighting over ships, so let's have each other's back and remember to be respectful <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> #LimLendezPorVida <3
> 
> As promised over on my Tumblr, here's the first of two fics I've been working on to give us all a better version of events because that finale was...something else, to say the least!
> 
> I was honestly in the boat of "I don't care if we get Limlendez or Melendaire so long as Melendez survives" and that clearly went to plan, but whilst I genuinely liked the idea of either pairing I was on the Limlendez boat first so it was nice to get this out there for my first ever piece of work on AO3.
> 
> I might continue this one as well, because I feel I could maybe make at least one more chapter out of this...
> 
> Thanks for reading in the meantime, and don't forget to love each other, especially in these trying times!


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